This weekend we officially celebrate Moms, although I’ve always said Moms should be celebrated daily. One of my fondest memories of Mother’s Day as a child was when we would go to church on Mother’s Day and the alter would be covered in flowers. The children were called up to choose any flower we wanted and bring it back to Mom. The look on her face - her big beautiful smile and her big brown eyes filled with such pride - is ingrained in my memory forever. (FYI-You will always find me capitalizing the words Mom/Mother because of it’s importance.) My Mother was a warm, loving and very progressive Mom. She had a warm personality and voice, loving smile, was gentle and beautiful. By 1960s definition, she was also progressive. When my youngest brother was in kindergarten, her previous employer called and asked her to return to work and she accepted. My Dad was self-employed as a farmer so my Mom would leave for work after we got on the school bus, my Dad was home after school to greet us, and they hired a nanny to live with us during the summer months. That definitely put her into the minority of working mothers, especially living in a small farming community during that period of time. Starting out as a government Clerk-Steno I, she was continuously promoted and retired in the early 90s as a Case Work Supervisor. Mom was definitely an early version of what we call the Supermom by today’s standards. She took great care of her family, rarely missed a day of work, excelled professionally, kept a clean house (back then Dads didn’t help with the cleaning - that’s what daughters were for), helped us with our homework, never missed a school function or one of our sporting events, and never let us miss a day of school - even Sunday School (barring illness of course). She and my Dad taught my brothers and me life skills and expected us to pitch in around the house and farm as well as bring home good grades and put academic accomplishments as a priority. They readied us for adulthood and were the epitome of good parenting.
As I became a parent, and now a grandparent, I have seen my version of good parenting from a child’s point of view, a parent’s point of view, and now a grandparent’s point of view. Seems like everyone has an opinion of what it takes to be a good Mom. There is so much pressure on Motherhood and an ample amount of Mom-shaming to go around. So many questions to answer - Shall I work or stay at home? Day-care or nanny? What shall I feed my children? How often should my child nap? Does my child need more exercise? How should I discipline my child? And let’s not forget to mention all of the child-rearing info coming at these young Mothers - books, dozens of websites and blogs, friends and relatives giving their opinions and all claiming to have the answers.
With the abundance of child-rearing advice and opinions on what makes a “Good Mom”, one thing remains constant with being a good Mom - that there is no Mommy Guidebook, no such thing as a perfect Mom, and all you really have to do is love your kids and raise them using good common sense, making decisions that are in their best interest. You will make mistakes as you navigate your way through parenting, but your kids will be great because you raise them with love. I am one proud Grandmother as I watch my daughter and daughter-in-law raise their little boys with so much love and guidance, teaching their little ones how to grow into happy adults, doing what’s best for their families. Just like my Mom, they are my definition of Good Mommies.
Don’t forget to give Mom her day - she deserves it. If you can’t spend some time with her, give her a phone call (not just a text). To all the new Moms out there, if you are raising your children with love, you are a Good Mom and everything will fall into place. Have a Happy Mother's Day!
