Beach Baby

My visit to Virginia to meet grandson Carson began with a delicious breakfast at The Bee and the Biscuit in the Pungo Village of Virginia Beach.  This charming cottage restaurant serves fresh produce grown by local farmers and is located in farm country.  Breakfast and lunch are served all day and they have a coffee bar, tea room, and wine tasting.  Although many of the entrees come with their yummy biscuits, get a side order - you won’t want just one!  (I really could have eaten a lot of those biscuits.)   I'm a fan of eating fresh, so I certainly will return to The Bee and the Biscuit.

The outings we took this week with Carson and the outings we've been taking with Dominic have been pretty easy.  Lovin' the travel systems that the baby industry has made available to new parents on the go!  The car seat to stroller transition is smooth and the parents are incredibly safety conscience.  

There’s a lot to be said for living in an area with a mild climate.  We took Carson to the beach (in February!) and although it wasn’t warm enough to dip his toes into the ocean, it was certainly warm enough for a nice long stroll along the Boardwalk.  Carson was able to pleasantly nap in his City Mini as we pushed him more than 4 miles up and down the Virginia Beach Boardwalk.  After having a lunch of pulled pork and sweet potato fries at Rudee’s on the Inlet, I was definitely ready to burn some calories and enjoy a beautiful walk alongside the Atlantic.    

If you visit the Virginia Beach Boardwalk, there are plenty of eateries near the marina within walking distance to the beach, or you can eat at the many seaside restaurants right on the Boardwalk.  Once you get to the Boardwalk, there is plenty to do or even look at, regardless of your age.  Grandkids with you?  They can play at the beach park and playground (Grommet Island), ride horses on the beach, or ride bikes and skateboards on the boardwalk.  For active beach lovers, rent a surrey, jog, walk - even try the obstacle course.  

I am sure I will be spending a lot of time at this beach with Carson during my visits, bringing beach buddy Dominic for cousin time.  After all, who doesn’t love the beach?  

Watching Your Grown-Up Kids Grow Up

Every parent raises their children with the hope that some day they will be independent, capable, happy adults.  We envision a steady succession of growth for them as they graduate from college, secure employment, move out and become financially independent, get married and start a family.  Thinking back on all of the milestones children reach throughout their lives - academic success, athletic achievements, personal relationships - we can’t help but be extremely proud of them, but at times, watching them grow up into adults can be bittersweet.  As much as I was sad to see my children leave home after graduation, I was truly excited to see each of them get their first job, rent their first apartment, buy their first home and get married to extraordinary people.  By those standards, I could confidently say that they both became independent, capable, happy adults.    

But when do you realize that your grown-up kids have really grown up?  Although with every major life event we see our children turn into grown-ups, at which point do we come to the realization that our children are full blown adults?  For me, it was seeing them as parents.  

Last summer, my son and his wife and my daughter and her husband gave us the wonderful news that we were going to be grandparents.  For the next few months, we anticipated the births of these precious little baby boys, planned baby showers, purchased an abundance of baby gear, furniture and clothing and worried about the moms-to-be.  As I acquired a Batman onesie for my new grandson, I remembered how much my son loved the superhero when he was a little boy.  As I decorated for my daughter’s baby shower with children’s books, I remembered how much she loved her bedtime stories when she was a little girl.  And now my little boy and little girl were each having their own baby.  They were now going to be someone’s mom and dad.  

My two grandsons were born 4 weeks apart.  Although I may have gotten a few of the normal new parent questions about the belly button, burping methods and sleep patterns, the comfort level and proficiency at which these new parents have assumed their roles are nothing less than amazing.  Watching them interact with their new babies was validation that my grown up children had grown up right before my eyes.    

I feel extremely blessed that retirement has given me the opportunity to spend time with my daughter, son-in-law, son and daughter-in-law and their newborns. Watching how both sets of parents are so comfortable and conscientious with their newborns makes my heart happy.  The gift of grandparenthood has been such a sweet treat for my first year of retirement and seeing the four new parents in action, doing so well at their new roles is icing on the cake.   

Spending Time With Grandkids Has a Huge Payoff

Recently, there has been a lot of chatter about the benefits of babysitting grandchildren.  According to recent studies, spending time with grandchildren may prevent Alzheimer’s and lower depression.  Most grandparents who stay with their grandkids while parents are away look at it as a great opportunity to hang out with their adorable little loved ones.  (I like to refer to it as "hanging out" not babysitting.)  Friends of mine who spend time with their grandchildren plan fun activities and outings in lieu of just "watching" them.  Looks like the fun of hanging out with your grandchildren has a significant payoff!  

According to articles I have read, hanging out with your grandchildren increases brain function and memory.  Additionally, the social interaction that grandparents get from grandchildren has such a positive effect on their mental health that it lowers their risk of Alzheimer’s and depression, and may even increase their life span.  I have also read studies that indicate that the closer you are with your grandchildren, feelings of isolation diminish as well as symptoms of depression.   

Although I have only been a grandparent for a month, I can attest to the happiness a grandparent feels when hanging out with grandkids.  Snuggling with your grandchild, reading books to them, doing all of the voices, and laughing at all their funny faces add a pleasant dimension to retired life.  I look forward to developing meaningful relationships with both grandsons as they grow and believe that these relationships benefit both the grandparents, parents, and grandchildren.   

IMHO, the key is consistency.   All parties benefit if grandparents are part of their grandchildren’s lives on a regular basis.  I’m not saying you have to live next door - my parents lived several hours away and wintered in AZ when my kids were growing up and the relationships between them were very close.  One of my new grandsons lives in another state.  I have no doubt that my relationship with him will be close.  With reasonable airfare, FaceTime and Skyping, it’s even easier nowadays to maintain close relationships when there’s distance between the two of you.  

What are you waiting for?  Start planning trips, outings, activities, or just time with your grandkids.  It’s good for your health! 

How's That Retirement Budget Coming?

When I retired last summer, one of the first things I did was to recreate my budget.  Things look a little different when you retire - your income usually changes, so your expenditures need to change also.  While talking “budget” with my already-retired friends, one thing is a definite - everyone has a different idea about how to create a budget. The important thing is to create a budget that works for you as long as you know where your money is going, you don’t have to “rob from Peter to pay Paul” (at least not too often), you allocate enough to achieve your goals, and it’s user-friendly.  Of course, it is assumed that you have met with your financial advisor and you all are in agreement that you are financially ready to retire.  

Some people do better with expenditures that are extremely detailed: food, insurance, entertainment, and so on…  Others prefer to make it less tedious and chunk expenditure items into just a few major categories:  House/Car/Travel/Savings and Investments/Medical/All other expenditures.  

There are a number of things to consider when you retire with regard to your financial goals:

a.  Do you want to buy a 2nd home?

b.  Is your main home in need of repair or updates?

c.  What are your travel goals?

d.  How much do you want to put away in savings and/or investments each year?

e.  What is your plan for allowing for inflation?

For me, two things that had to happen before I retired were to have the house paid off and the kids through college.  After that, I definitely wanted to have a few years to breathe and do some hardcore saving before retirement.  It certainly helps to have a timeline in your head of where your retirement falls into place with regard to your large financial responsibilities.  Although it may be tempting to wake up one morning and retire out of frustration from your job or from watching many of your friends retire, it’s not a good idea to retire without a clear plan after consulting with a financial advisor.  For me, retirement was planned perfectly - right after our children got married and right before our grandkids started to arrive!  

Remember when you are creating your budget, although you will probably save money in commuting costs and expensive clothing, you may be spending more in new (and sometimes very expensive) hobbies.  Also consider that many medical plans during retirement do not include dental, may have higher out-of-pocket expenses than you are used to, and if you are on medicare you will most likely have to pay a premium for Part B, so allow extra cash for those expenses.  

As a retired teacher, one of the financial advantages I have found is being able to travel at off-peak times.  Educators are always at a disadvantage with available travel times - the only time we can travel is during high peak times, paying top dollar for travel expenses.  Where I used to pay an average of $160 one-way from Phoenix to Chicago, I recently paid (are you ready for this?) $44 for the same flight.  (Thanks Southwest!) 

Remember - continue to re-evaluate until you get it right and have fun! 

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"Gettin' Our Kicks on Route 66" Road Trip

The AZ abode needed a new car.  After searching for one in Arizona with no luck, we found the perfect set of wheels in Illinois, which meant it had to be driven to AZ.  I wasn’t thrilled about driving 2.5 days out west in January, but took my own advice about gratitude and turned lemons into lemonade.  The new van wasn’t the only thing going to Arizona, Dad was going as well, to spend the remainder of the winter in warmth and sunshine.  I felt grateful to still have my dad to accompany me on a 2.5 day road trip.  

The route we chose to take was basically the Old Route 66 from Chicago to LA, although we hopped off near Holbrook, AZ near the Painted Desert and Petrified Forest.  Day 1 of our trip was spent traveling from  Illinois to Oklahoma City where we found the 76 degree January weather to be a welcoming contrast to the 36 degrees we had left behind.  (They were having a warm day.)  By the end of day 2 we had landed in Gallup, NM breathing in fresh, clean, cold mountain air.  Although I am not a fan of cold and snow, the 17 degrees was a small price to pay for the beautiful view of the Zuni Mountains near Gallup to which we woke up.  With only a few hours left until we reached our Mesa, AZ destination, we would be driving from 17 degrees in the mountains to 70 degrees in the desert, snow to sand.  

Our decision to go through the Painted Desert and Petrified Forest (Petrified Forest National Park) on our way to Mesa was a good one.  It was absolutely gorgeous!  My next memory book will be filled with photos I took of this spectacular National Park.  When the grandkids get older, I hope to visit again and take them on some of the hiking trails.  (I’m keeping a list of must-sees and must-dos for future Mimi camps in AZ!)  If you are ever taking the Route 66 Road Trip or are in the Holbrook, AZ area, the Petrified Forest National Park is a must-see!  

Leaving the Petrified Forest National Park, we ventured down the Sierra Ancha through the Tonto National Forest and absolutely breathtaking tall pines covered in snow.  The beautiful drive down this snowcapped mountain would land us in a warm desert in less than 3 hours.  Watch out for Elk!

Our Route 66 road trip out west was spent primarily on Interstates 55, 44 and 40 through Illinois, Missouri, Oklahoma, Texas, New Mexico and Arizona, which were once Route 66.  If you have the time, take a few days and take the Route 66 Road Trip, hopping off once and a while to see the many natural or manmade attractions along the route.