Loving Traditions

When my daughter went to kindergarten, my mom started a tradition where she would take her shopping for a back-to-school outfit.  We looked forward to this event every year.  It wasn’t about getting a new outfit - it was about spending the day with my mom, having lunch at my mom’s favorite restaurant, and continuing a tradition that was extended to each and every one of her grandkids.  I love traditions.  My mother loved traditions.  The traditions she created for our family had a profound impact on the memories we created and stories we gathered.  Traditions tell a story about a family - it’s history, events, and experiences.  Focusing our lives around experiences rather than things is a vital ingredient in the recipe for a happy family life.  

Families that establish rituals build stronger relationships with each other and give children a source of identity within the family.  Carrying on the traditions created by my mother allow my grandkids to know the great grandmother they will never meet.  When my brothers and I were children, one of our favorite Christmas traditions was listening to my mother read “The Littlest Angel” on Christmas Eve.  After our baths, we would put on our PJs, put out milk and cookies for Santa, then listen to my mother read this favorite Christmas story before falling asleep in anticipation of Santa.  This magical ritual meant so much to us that we shared it with our children and it became a Christmas tradition for them.  Now this tradition, started by our mother close to 60 years ago, will be carried on to our grandchildren and their great grandmother will become a part of their story.  When children grow up knowing stories about their parents, grandparents, and even great grandparents, it provides them a source of identity that creates a higher degree of self-confidence.  

We have dozens (more like hundreds) of photos of our kids from our many Disney trips from ages 4 to 24.  They can't wait to repeat and share their magical Disney experiences with their children.  Same goes for all of our beach vacations.  This summer, our new grandsons were introduced to the beach to become a part of the tradition of family vacations and start making their own stories.  They will grow up knowing all of the family vacation stories and making some of their own.  They will know that although they live miles away from each other, they will get to spend time with each other on family getaways.  The lasting memories they will make will be priceless.  Many of my friends have been going on multi-generational vacations for years - they have built strong family relationships and have made so many precious memories.  

As new grandparents, it’s so much fun to see our children carry on family traditions to their children - it shows that those traditions meant a lot to them.  My son and his family have adopted our “find the pickle” Christmas tradition and my daughter (now a teacher) and I still honor the “back-to-school” tradition started by my mom.  When my grandsons (and other future grands) are in kindergarten, we will be “back-to-school” shopping.  They will know the story behind this tradition.  They will know another part of their great grandmother.

Fit Your Retirement Wish List Into Your Budget

Familiar with the term, “retirement spending smile?”  It’s a term coined by David Blanchett at Morningstar that represents a retirement spending  pattern arc that looks like a smile.  😊  This spending pattern suggests that when people reach their 50s and 60s, they have an increase in disposable income - the mortgage is paid off, kids are out of college and income is up.  It’s kind of like a financial honeymoon period.  So when retirement hits, young retirees tend to use this extra money for their wish list.  Some travel, others renovate their homes or even buy a second home.  In other words, spending is up immediately after retirement.  After several years, spending goes down - retirees in their mid 70s and 80s tend to stay home or closer to home more often and spend very little - so the arc (spending) drops down.  But the arc soon goes back up as aging creates health problems and health care spending dramatically increases - thus creating a spending pattern that looks like a smile. 

The interesting thing about the spending smile is that the spending on the front half is controllable, but unfortunately, the spending on the back half (health care) is not.  I remember when my parents retired.  Their conservative spending and smart choices about planning for long-term care when they were in their 50s and 60s allowed for my mother to be well taken care of when she got sick in her 80s.  That’s not to say that they didn’t have a little fun and fulfill their wish list.  They purchased a winter home in AZ, they traveled, but they watched their “splurges”.  

Many new retirees who envision retirement as a time when they can really sock away the money, soon find out that a lot of their extra available money is being spent on new hobbies, travel and entertainment - their “wish list".  Is it possible to fulfill our wish lists and put money away for the years in later retirement when health care spending is up?  Of course it is, as long as we budget for it.  

Our retirement wish lists don't always consist of things of material value like second homes or expensive vacations.  Some of the best features of a wish list are experiences.  I love going to the city to see Broadway musicals.  Before retirement, there was barely enough time to see one show a year.  And the expense - at $150+ per ticket (and those were for upper balcony), seeing shows on a regular basis can get pricey.    A friend of mine who retired a few years ago suggested I look into season tickets to Broadway in Chicago.  Each season includes 4 or 5 shows with your choice of matinee or evening, week day or weekend, and choice of seats.  At around $450 for 2 lower balcony tickets to each of 5 musicals, the $45 per ticket that I am spending for better seats is much better than the $150+ I spent before.   

Since my daughter is also a fan of the theater, she attends the musicals with me.  It’s a great mother/daughter outing that we look forward to once a month.  We choose a restaurant in the theater district and walk to the show after dinner.  Parking in Chicago can get expensive, so here's another useful bit of information - many of the restaurants in the theater district are "theater partners", provide free valet if you are seeing a show, and keep your car for you while at the theater.  We have enjoyed the summer season so much that I secured tickets for the fall/winter season.  

Remember - retirement is an adventure and slow and steady wins the race!    

Beaches and Babies

We just returned from our first multi-generational vacation with the kids and their families.  With grandsons Carson and Dominic only 5 and 6 months old, choosing a destination was a delicate task.  We needed to choose a getaway that allowed for flexibility of babies’ needs, opportunity for parents (or grandparents) to play, and by all means included a beach (we love the beach).

We have always enjoyed vacations with a great balance of play, sight-seeing and relaxation.  The notion of taking our first vacation with the kids and grandkids filled us with excitement, but also a little anxiety knowing that careful planning was essential.  Since we have always enjoyed the Outer Banks, and it’s a vacation that can be tailored to fit everyone’s needs, this destination seemed like a perfect choice.  We wouldn’t be tied to a strict schedule, there would be plenty of opportunity for water sports and sight-seeing, and it’s never failed as a relaxing beach getaway.  We could rent a 4 bedroom beach house, take turns at cooking, and enjoy the Atlantic for a week.   

Hangin' out under the beach canopy

After choosing a week that fit into everyone’s schedule, we had to secure a beach house.  We had always loved the house we rented in the past - it wasn't oceanfront but it was oceanside, and a short walk to the beach.  We never needed a pool since we spent most of our hours at the beach.  But our needs are different now with Carson and Dominic.  An oceanfront beach house with a pool would be better.  It would be easier for lugging beach and baby gear, and the boys could play in the pool when the sand and waves got to be too much for them.  The beach house we selected was perfect - 4 bedroom, oceanfront with a pool.   

The pool was a big hit!

Exhausted!

Although the dynamic has definitely changed from our past beach vacations now that the kids have young families, it’s a welcome change.  We used to watch our kids “ride the waves” and do their best to stay on top of a surf board and now we watch them having the time of their lives throwing their babies in the air while playing with them in the pool.  We used to watch them boogie board for HOURS and HOURS and now they build little sand pools to introduce their sons to the ocean.  I remember constantly nagging my children to reapply sunscreen and now they have become obsessed with keeping their children plastered in SPF 50 and covered in full body swimsuits and hats.  

Filled to the top w/beach and baby gear

It was so much fun watching the four young parents toss a football around on the beach and play in the surf while the babies slept underneath the canopy that their parents had set up for them.  Sitting around the campfire we built on the beach, making S’mores and watching our kids and their families sit back, laugh, and enjoy being together is the best part of a family vacation.    

Family vacations are not easy - planning requires some compromise, packing can be rough, children (and sometimes adults) can get cranky, and the entire experience can be exhausting (aren’t you supposed to feel rested?).  But here’s the happy ending:  being together with your family for one solid week a year is irreplaceable.  Growing up, the boys will look forward to these vacations with their cousins.  These are the very best of memories. 

Vacation Recreation: Escape the Ordinary for the Extraordinary - at least for a few days (Part II)

One of the most exciting things to do on a trip is vacation recreation.  I can’t remember a single vacation I have ever taken that did not involve some type of sport, particularly one that is specific to the locale.  While in the Outer Banks, we kite surfed, jet-skied, and surfed (well I didn’t surf, the kids did), while in Destin, we snorkeled, in Cabo we went scuba-diving and horseback riding on the beach, and in Puerto Vallarta, we did the obvious-zip-lining.  Vacation recreation always makes the trip memorable and unique.  In fact, I guess it’s safe to say that when choosing a destination, we always look at available activities.  

The activity of choice in Sedona?  Hands down, it was hiking.  There are close to 100 different hiking trails in Sedona, with a variety of ability levels from easy to difficult.  The great thing about hiking is that you make it what you want.  If you're hiking a 4 mile loop and you start getting tired, just turn around and go back.  Turn the 4 mile loop into a 1 or 2 mile hike.  The main thing is that you STAY ON THE TRAIL.  Although it’s kind of fun to challenge yourself and try to do some climbing (like we did), safety is very important.  

We were only going to be in Sedona for 5 days with days 1 and 5 partially used as travel days.  Since day 4 was our Spa day, we only had days 2 and 3 to beat up our bodies executing “Xtreme" activities (at least Xtreme for us).  We had seen images online of hikers standing on an incredible arch, which we later learned is called “Devil’s Bridge,” so that was definitely on our radar.  To get to the trailhead for Devil’s Bridge, we needed to walk close to 2 miles one-way down a “road” that’s only accessible to off road jeeps (so you can only imagine how rough THAT road is).  After getting to the trailhead, the hike was a gradual incline until we got closer to the bridge.  After getting close to the bridge, be ready to walk up a very steep, natural “spiral staircase” to the bridge.  Challenging, but worth every step!  If you are scared of heights (or should I say scared of falling) walking out onto the bridge can definitely be intimidating.  Once we got out on the bridge, it wasn’t that bad.  This group of spa warriors did the entire hike -  “photo shoot” and all - in approximately 3 hours.    

The Devil’s Bridge hike and the climb to the top of Bell Rock offered plenty of recreation during our Sedona Getaway.   Now that we are all grown up and our kids are all grown up, it’s fun to explore, discover, and try new activities.  Do’s and Dont’s?  Any activity we can do is beneficial so Do what you enjoy but Do take precautions.  Don’t let fear get in the way of physical activity and Don’t limit yourself to only “senior-type” activities.