Having Anxiety About Retirement?

An impending retirement, while sounding pretty exciting, can be a major stressor for many people.  Making the decision to retire 4 years in advance gave me plenty of time to ponder my decision before the big “last day.”  Colleagues would say, “You’re so lucky!  I can’t wait to retire!”  Talk to anyone who has made the decision and you will find that most have some reservations about their decision, a few have significant stress, and for others it’s a no-brainer.  While some people stress over financial concerns (Do I have enough money?) and others have professional concerns (Will I miss my job too much?), a preponderance of soon-to-be-retired fear the loss of work friendships they have acquired over many years.  For me, pre-retirement anxiety was connected to both fear of boredom and the impending loss of close relationships with people I had worked with, laughed with, and sometimes cried with for decades - people I had known since my kids were little, some even before my kids were born.  In other words, it wasn’t about the job - it was about the people.  

Many of us have rewarding careers that give us joy - maybe not every day, but for the most part, we stay in our careers for some type of reward, be it financial or emotional.  But no matter how much we love our careers, the rat race eventually gets to be too much for too long and we desperately need to change gears.  So when we make the decision to retire, where do we get our reward?  Financially speaking, it’s imperative to crunch the numbers to get an accurate sense of where you are financially.  I consulted with a financial advisor - there’s so much to consider, leave that to the experts.  But after you have addressed financial concerns, what about the emotional ones?  Although I loved my career and it was very fulfilling, I knew that it wasn’t the work, but the people - the relationships - that I would miss.  

Finding ways to stay connected to ex-colleagues is a great way to continue relationships as well as remain up-to-date on happenings at your past employer.  I continue to meet several ex-coworkers for breakfast once a week (sometimes twice) just like we have been doing for many years - why stop just because I’m retired and they're not?  My mother did the same after she retired, until she was in her 80s and became ill.  Although we will no longer have that daily interaction with our work friends, there’s no reason to break work relationships just because we no longer have work.  Another way to keep friendships going is by taking trips.  Our annual Girls Getaways are something we look forward to and will cherish for as long as we are healthy enough to enjoy them!  

My fear of boredom?  Friends that retired before me always said, “If you're bored in retirement, it’s your fault.”  So true - it’s been a year now and I haven’t been bored one day!