Becoming a New Grandparent X2

This year, my husband and I will be blessed with our first grandchildren.  My daughter and her husband became 1st time parents 8 days ago and my son and his wife will be 1st time parents any day now,  Just as we are coming down from the high of one new grand baby, we will be getting another.  I now know the joy my mother and father felt when I gave birth to my children.  Just as you fall in love with your children the second you lay eyes on them, the same happens with your grandchildren.  

As I helped out my daughter and her husband last week after the birth of their beautiful little boy, I realized a lot has changed in the 25 years since I last gave birth.  For instance, “back to sleep” means we lay babies on their backs to sleep - not their tummies like we were told.  Today’s breast pumps are 10 times better than the ones we were expected to use, and when I asked the nurse if they still sprinkled corn starch on a baby’s behind during diaper changes, she looked at me like I had 3 heads.  (I did clarify that I meant the baby cornstarch - not the one you cook with.  She couldn’t stop giving me a puzzling look.  Oh well, I guess the answer was NO.)  Did you know that the petroleum jelly we used to put on them to prevent diaper rash is now a “diaper rash ointment with Vitamins A&D?”  Also, remember working with our babies to build their little arm muscles and teach them to roll over?  It's now called "tummy time."  They have super cute little tummy time mats and "gyms" for the babies.  I had to laugh when we were putting the baby through the "tummy time workout".  The grunting and frustration reminded me of the young men I hear at the gym pumping iron.  

Regardless of the many changes that have taken place with baby care in the last 25 years, I realize that taking care of a baby is like riding a bike - it all comes back real fast.  There are many things that remain the exact same as when my kids were infants.  Newborns still hate bath time (initially) and being changed, they are madly in love with their mommies and daddies, and when their grandmothers hold them, swaying back and forth while gently patting their behinds, they fall asleep every time.  Babies still love music (their baby listens to Italian Mountain Music from Dad and Disney Tunes from Mom) and as newborns they live to eat and sleep (how nice!).  Babies still come home from the hospital as nocturnal creatures and the entire first week is spent in a battle of wills between parents and baby, trying to flip their day/night schedule.  

During the first week after baby comes home, help from a grandparent can be invaluable to a parent.  A grandparent with a progressive personality who can combine past experience with new and improved techniques can certainly be an asset to young parents.  I realized that as invaluable as my experience was, I knew that advancements had been made since I had my babies 25-30 years ago.  Grandparents need to be aware that not everything that they did with their babies is the way things are done now.  It’s confusing for a parent to get conflicting advise from their healthcare professionals and their own parents.  The week ran very smoothly as the new parents were open to my experienced advise and I respected the instructions given by their nurses and pediatrician.  In fact, I read the book I had given both sets of new parents for Christmas, What To Expect the First Year by Heidi Murkoff and Sharon Mazel, an awesome, comprehensive book for new parents (and grandparents).  This kept us all on the same page and gave us topics to discuss that we had all read.  Another great book that deals just with sleep patterns is Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Marc Weissbluth, M.D.  I would recommend reading or at least becoming familiar with both books.   

As an experienced grandparent, consider yourself "training wheels" for the new parents.  Instead of giving baby a bath, be there for support while the new parents bathe baby; instead of grabbing baby and bottle for the 2 AM feeding, sit with Dad while he gives baby the bottle so that he bonds with his baby and you are there for support.  As much as I wanted to give the baby his bottle to give mom some much needed rest, I had to remind myself that feeding time can be a special bonding time with baby for Dad as well as Mom.  Don't forget that you may be needed to take care of the new mom - make her lunch, make sure she is drinking fluids, tell her to take a nap and give her the necessary vitamins and painkillers.  She will heal much faster if someone is caring for her when she comes home.  When my kids were born, my mom helped me, I helped my daughter with her baby, and my daughter-in-law's mom will be helping her with her little boy.  (What would we do without our Moms?)

The new parents are settling in nicely.  We are patiently awaiting the arrival of my son and his wife’s baby and are so excited we can’t stand it!  I feel so blessed that I get to be a 1st time grandparent X2!  My children have given me two very precious gifts!