Becoming Reacquainted With Yourself

Before I retired, I would sometimes spend time with a retiree and conclude that he or she was inflexible or "set in their ways."  I wondered, "Am I going to be like that as I age?  Am I going to be unable to adapt to change?"  After being retired only a few short months, I have come to realize that it's not so much that retirees are living in an inflexible world, but that they are living in a world where they have the luxury of choosing what works for them, what makes them happy.  After all, what's wrong with that?  Isn't that the ultimate goal - to be able to finally live the life you've always wanted (or at least close to it)?  I like going to the health club for my workout in the morning - right after I have had a chance to have my coffee (in my favorite mug of course) and watch the news.  I don't like exercising later in the day and if at all possible, I won't deviate from my schedule.  Does that make me inflexible?  No, it means that I like what I like and I don't have to change that.  Gone are the days when I have to go to the gym later in the day because I am at work all day - one of the luxuries of retirement.    

Short and sweet, retirement is a time when you know what you like and you get an opportunity to celebrate it.  It's that simple.  Retirement means you don't have to grab the first clean coffee mug you find running out the door and your days are filled with things you want to do instead of things you have to do.    

When you retire, you have an opportunity to become reacquainted with yourself.  You discover the person you are comfortable with, without the influence of outside forces that have been draining you of "me time" for so many years.  Like so many others, I wore a lot of hats during my teaching career - teacher, mentor, union President, project developer, negotiator, etc... The person I had become was almost entirely a product of those roles.  My goals had become more professional than personal and my stress level was so high that it started to affect my health.  I wanted to retire at the top of my game so that I could feel comfortable closing that chapter of my life and moving on to the next.  The consequence was that although I felt very accomplished professionally, my personal life was suffering.  I wasn't able to dedicate as much time to my family and friends that I wanted, nor was I able to be the "me" I really wanted to be.    

The problem with becoming so immersed in your career is that when your career is over and you start your new chapter, you have to decide what that new chapter is going to look like.  This is where you become reacquainted with yourself.  For me, this wasn't a problem.  I have never had a problem spending time alone or trying new things.  Through self-reflection, trial and error and just plain experience, you eventually settle into your new life as a retiree and hopefully find a comfortable and happy place.  You develop favorites - favorite hobbies, favorite times to eat dinner, favorite nighttime routine, favorite authors to read - even your favorite coffee mug for your morning cup of joe.  Why change what you like just for the sake of changing?

50+ year olds are no more inflexible than the under 50 group.  We have plenty of change in our lives - new in-laws, new grandkids, new health problems, medication, technology to learn (so we stay cool), and plenty of new responsibilities that are not work related.  Most of the time, changes in my life are changes that make my life even better.  For me, I am going to stick with my routine of up by 7 and out the door by 8:30ish on my way to the gym on most days because it makes me happy.  I am going to meet my friends for breakfast every Tuesday because I love spending time with them.  And I am going to continue to flee to Arizona every time the weather gets bad because I love the sun.  Yet I will be flexible enough to travel to be with my kids who live in a zip code across the country or with my father who has a health scare from time to time.  I will be able to adapt when I need to instantly change my plans for "Mimi Help" after the grandkids are born whenever they need me.  I will, from time to time, reschedule my workout to the evening so I can work out with my friend who is not yet retired.  Who says we're not flexible?