Changing Gears is Liberating

It's the middle of August and by now I would be in full teacher mode.  I would have attended numerous meetings on new ideas and programs that were sure to start the school year off heading in the right direction.  I would have made the 35 minute drive to school and stopped at the teachers' store several times.  By now, the countdown to the 1st day of school would have already begun as educators approached the starting gate for the annual 180 day race (which always seemed more like a long-distance sprint).   When I retired in June, I was already stressing about missing my old life when school starts in August.  Am I going to be bored?  Am I going to feel less important?  Am I going to be missed?  Will life go on just fine without me?  What is my worth going to be?

I accompanied my dad today to a lunch with Donna, his cousin from Florida.  Donna asked me, "What have you been doing since you retired?"  My response was, "gardening, canning, sewing classes, working out, mini-trips, organizing, meeting up with friends, writing, cooking and helping family."  I guess the answer to my question about being bored would be, "No.  I'm not bored."  Veteran retirees tell me that if you are bored in retirement it's your fault.  There is no truer statement than that.  My ban.dō planner shows a pretty busy schedule for me through October, and I am currently booking up November!  (I love organizing my ban.dō planner with Washi tape and stickers.)  Don't get me wrong, I didn't purposely  go out and start booking events with my friends so that I was sure not to get bored.  I just let it happen organically.  If someone asks me to do something I want to do, I say yes.  If I see that one of my kids might need some assistance, I volunteer.  If I find great airfare to Phoenix, I book a trip.  Don't be afraid to say yes to people.  If you love helping out your kids, make sure they feel comfortable asking you for help.

The drive to lunch, 1.5 hours from my dad's house, was beautiful.  We traveled through several small towns, looked at beautiful scenery, and had a wonderful conversation.  My dad knew the history behind practically every farm and had an interesting story about someone from every town we passed on the 77 mile trip.  We saw wild turkeys, drove past the Teddy Bear Junction and saw the Farmington Music Theater, aka the Princess Theater, a place where Mom and Dad used to see plays.  Dad talked about the coal mining that used to go on in the area, the Spoon River levy that broke and flooded the road and all of the farmland, and Jim Thome, the former Chicago White Sox baseball player that owns a farm in the community.

As I drove my father through all of the quaint towns, admired the scenery and listened intently to his stories, I felt liberated.  I felt free to enjoy my family, friends and interests.  I felt free to take a day out of my schedule to drive with my dad through the country, listening to his wonderful stories.  For years I educated children and mentored other educators.  My worth as an educator will live on in the work that they will continue.  My importance or my worth now looks different.  I am still a wife, daughter, mother and soon to be grandmother.  My worth is obvious.  I will no longer question that.  There is no "old life" and "new life."  There is just one life with many chapters and you get to help write those chapters.

Beautiful scenic Spoon River Valley